The Blue Banner

Bridget Jones, was once a single girl. Now she’s a married woman with a baby, or so the latest installment of the Jones saga revealed to me tonight. 43, is old… or at least considered “socially” old for an unexpected child, but she did it anyway. Then again, Ms. Jones has not led a normal life, or at least the socially assigned traditional life we are raised to follow. And so I ponder, as I watched, how often did the universe throw Darcy at her? How many times did she fuck it up, and still the universe brought him back to her. Through all the adventures, and all the mishaps.

Now I know, it’s fiction, arguably not even good fiction (nay – let’s just say semi-trashy cliché fiction for the masses, but what I watch in my spare times of boredom should not be judged here…) but again the overall theme of the series begs the question: how much Control do we have over what happens in our life? Can we be expected to map out our life into categories or to-do lists: get a boyfriend, get married, buy a house, keep a stable job… what happens if you do not achieve these things? Are you a failure in life? And who determines that you are a failure. Does it even matter? Although I am happy for Ms. Jones, as she FINALLY walked down the aisle (only took over a freakin decade) is it really necessary that we see her get married. Maybe having a baby was satisfaction and closure enough. But alas, I am not the script writer of the Jones saga, and in truth… I couldn’t care less.

What I do care about, is how the universe has a sneaky way of throwing things at us. Today while working, I had a brief moment, where I stood alone, in my thoughts, staring off into the empty room of the bar I was assigned to audit for the day, daydreaming/imagining the crowds of people that might frequent the establishment. Would they drink beer, or get a mixed drink? A karaoke table in the corner – what song would they sing… my gaze fluttered around, staring at banners and flags hung from the ceiling, when suddenly I stopped and caught my breath.

Just this past December, I graduated with my second degree in front of 20,000 people, a live broadcast, and 2 senators in attendance. My internship at that time, was assisting a photographer who had accepted to take new catalog photos for a gun manufacturer. It was the first time in my life, that I had stood in a closed studio, surrounded by weapons I could find no civilian use for (or rational one anyway) and one state issued, armed security guard. This went on for weeks as we photographed their inventory.

Their web designer was a nice guy from Virginia. I remember I asked him about the company logo. It reminded me of a baseball logo. He told me he designed it personally.

So here I was, months later, at a job that has nothing to do with my area of study. And before me, hanging dead center in the room, is a banner… with the baseball type logo… for the gun manufacturer I helped take photos with.

What are the chances in this happening?

So is this my Darcy? Is this the universe throwing something at me regardless of how often I fuck up or wander off my path?

Bridget Jones had a baby at 43.

I can be am an artist.





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